One thing about the access is all the access to free books.
I talk a lot about less being more which is true. My library card usually didn't reflect that mentality though. I had a queue of at least five books or more. Libraries are so fantastic!!! It was like trying on a book before committing to a purchase and have access to nearly every book in print.
Today, I was reminded about how efficient it would have been to have had a going away, sendoff love fest. I understand that now. I don't know, I just didn't think it was necessary at the time because I didn't feel like I was going away. I guess part of me always felt like I've been here in the Philippines and the other part of me didn't want to formally say good bye to LA. I said my goodbyes in my own way, bye to loved ones, bye to my yogi and power yoga and bye to windy santa monica. I did say my good byes with a beach runs.
But what is this strange feeling, regret, guilt? "How could you leave without saying goodbye?" Umm, I didn't know I was saying goodbye, I just kinda got on a plane.
Plus, it doesn't feel like a goodbye with so much stuff at my parents. I need to have a massive yard sale or goodwill donation when I can fly back to LA.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I love LA.
I am about one week into my relocation, facing a new morning. It's about 3am and I miss home terribly. The night is warm and rain is falling. It like a song of cascading water. Maybe God is crying, maybe Allah is taking a shower, maybe the goddess is urinating. Thunder rolls through the sky and a couple tiny ants join me in bed. It strange being in warm rain.
Every time I've been on vacation here in the Philippines, Iloilo specifically, I've always had the feeling like I could stay forever. I could stay forever. I LOVE IT HERE!!! I feel myself in this space where I am more present, perhaps because time is slower. This space created where each experience seems more meaningful because I can pay more attention. There are less distractions in developing nations. Each time I talk about this place to someone abroad or even local it, the magic and majesty I speak of here is evident. All I have to do is look out my window to the luscious, the natural green beauty just outside my doors. It's breathtaking. And what's more it's all from the earth. Every night I sleep to a rainforest soundtrack and my room is filled with the sensual smells of ripe mangos, midnight jasmine, ylang ylang and vanilla. Now that the possibility and REALITY of living here's is actualized, all I can think about is life back in LA.
DAMN, ATTACHMENT!!! Buddha is enlightened and so right. So many parallel truth in religious philosophy. Jesus talks about the kingdom of God being at hand. Buddha about detachment.
Here's a couple things. I miss Nonoy and Mama. I miss friends and farmers' markets with some of the most talented stars of agriculture in california. I long for the sweet touches of power yoga and Sunday beach runs and certain men. I miss driving. But let me put this into perspective. Nonoy and Mama have always been there for me and will continue to be there. There is also that lovely thing called skype. Friends, well what better test of friendship then time and distance, but honestly who needs to test. I'm grateful for amazing moments with friends and since I know nothing last forever each moment becomes more meaningful because it's the only one there is. Farmers' markets will be there too but dude, I'm a fuckin' farmer over here. I have wild papaya growing outside my window. Power yoga, well you can't replace power yoga, the post yoga euphoria or studying with your favorite yogi, but Bryan always talks about the "teacher within." Here's my opportunity to cultivate myself and the greatest teacher in my life. Besides, power yoga has DVD albeit not the same as the class but I don't think any teacher really has the intention of having a student follow them forever. Driving, especially at night or early mornings on clear freeways, hmm maybe that can't be replaced but I'll work it out. I think it is more of the meditative space created on that open road. But as soon as I get a bike out here, i'll find a clear road and serene area to do that in and find that meditative space. I would really love to get a motorcycle here. The men, well I could brush them off and say they were douches but they weren't. It was just kinda nice to have a harem of attractive men to call on. That sounds bad and egotistical but I guess I mean being in the company of a member of opposite sex that you find attractive doesn't have to be shallow. It's stimulate and can inspire the art of seduction. Lust abounds and burns into my loins. I think that can happen on any part of the globe.
So what, of course I miss the familar. One of my greatest endeavors has been to learn to detach and this is a wonderful excercise in it. If only I didn't so heavily attach to things I love, I would be able to tap into my power. I could be stronger. Whatever, attachment happened and that love and appreciation was created. So what if it's not here, they're not here or that possibility is not here. It existed at a point and I was blessed to appreciate it. Here, I can be with my father and my extended family and grow closer to my roots and heritage. I learn such VALUABLE lessons from my grandmother, my Lola A, and have some deep, diaphragmatic laughs from my Lola M. I can stay with a tribe and do some high intensity dance training. I have my own space that's turning into an amazing room for rest, love, yoga, study and art. I'm learning how to run a infant business and will be making the steps to creating my own. Everything is amazing. It is above all an excellent place to be authentic and to be in my peace.
This sock me in the face sobering sadness is bullshit or as so lovely said here, na halin sa ariputan (coming out of an asshole). It is amazing to be here and alive, walking, breathing and living. I've learned some things having the pleasure of living these years and here is this wonderful opportunity to test and to experiment in lifestyle design and living certain truths I have learned - being present and living in the now, living in gratitude, creating your happiness, thinking BIG, radical honesty, radically loving your bad ass self, authenticity, detachment and living slower with full attention and intention.
No more filler moments. No more wishy washy stagnation. I had those there. I filled that void with some good and some not so "optimal" things. I want to start a career and I have an opportunity to finish my education, learn all I can about business and cultivate myself and my bliss.
So, I recognize this feeling of sadness and thank myself for being able to feel. It makes me realize how valuable my experience, my life, the people I love, and things that help me create joy have been of true value because I'll miss them. It is however time to live in the now.
The new sadness of the morning has gone and left the building of my being. It's not serving my intention.
Honestly, water pressure, I miss water pressure!
Every time I've been on vacation here in the Philippines, Iloilo specifically, I've always had the feeling like I could stay forever. I could stay forever. I LOVE IT HERE!!! I feel myself in this space where I am more present, perhaps because time is slower. This space created where each experience seems more meaningful because I can pay more attention. There are less distractions in developing nations. Each time I talk about this place to someone abroad or even local it, the magic and majesty I speak of here is evident. All I have to do is look out my window to the luscious, the natural green beauty just outside my doors. It's breathtaking. And what's more it's all from the earth. Every night I sleep to a rainforest soundtrack and my room is filled with the sensual smells of ripe mangos, midnight jasmine, ylang ylang and vanilla. Now that the possibility and REALITY of living here's is actualized, all I can think about is life back in LA.
DAMN, ATTACHMENT!!! Buddha is enlightened and so right. So many parallel truth in religious philosophy. Jesus talks about the kingdom of God being at hand. Buddha about detachment.
Here's a couple things. I miss Nonoy and Mama. I miss friends and farmers' markets with some of the most talented stars of agriculture in california. I long for the sweet touches of power yoga and Sunday beach runs and certain men. I miss driving. But let me put this into perspective. Nonoy and Mama have always been there for me and will continue to be there. There is also that lovely thing called skype. Friends, well what better test of friendship then time and distance, but honestly who needs to test. I'm grateful for amazing moments with friends and since I know nothing last forever each moment becomes more meaningful because it's the only one there is. Farmers' markets will be there too but dude, I'm a fuckin' farmer over here. I have wild papaya growing outside my window. Power yoga, well you can't replace power yoga, the post yoga euphoria or studying with your favorite yogi, but Bryan always talks about the "teacher within." Here's my opportunity to cultivate myself and the greatest teacher in my life. Besides, power yoga has DVD albeit not the same as the class but I don't think any teacher really has the intention of having a student follow them forever. Driving, especially at night or early mornings on clear freeways, hmm maybe that can't be replaced but I'll work it out. I think it is more of the meditative space created on that open road. But as soon as I get a bike out here, i'll find a clear road and serene area to do that in and find that meditative space. I would really love to get a motorcycle here. The men, well I could brush them off and say they were douches but they weren't. It was just kinda nice to have a harem of attractive men to call on. That sounds bad and egotistical but I guess I mean being in the company of a member of opposite sex that you find attractive doesn't have to be shallow. It's stimulate and can inspire the art of seduction. Lust abounds and burns into my loins. I think that can happen on any part of the globe.
So what, of course I miss the familar. One of my greatest endeavors has been to learn to detach and this is a wonderful excercise in it. If only I didn't so heavily attach to things I love, I would be able to tap into my power. I could be stronger. Whatever, attachment happened and that love and appreciation was created. So what if it's not here, they're not here or that possibility is not here. It existed at a point and I was blessed to appreciate it. Here, I can be with my father and my extended family and grow closer to my roots and heritage. I learn such VALUABLE lessons from my grandmother, my Lola A, and have some deep, diaphragmatic laughs from my Lola M. I can stay with a tribe and do some high intensity dance training. I have my own space that's turning into an amazing room for rest, love, yoga, study and art. I'm learning how to run a infant business and will be making the steps to creating my own. Everything is amazing. It is above all an excellent place to be authentic and to be in my peace.
This sock me in the face sobering sadness is bullshit or as so lovely said here, na halin sa ariputan (coming out of an asshole). It is amazing to be here and alive, walking, breathing and living. I've learned some things having the pleasure of living these years and here is this wonderful opportunity to test and to experiment in lifestyle design and living certain truths I have learned - being present and living in the now, living in gratitude, creating your happiness, thinking BIG, radical honesty, radically loving your bad ass self, authenticity, detachment and living slower with full attention and intention.
No more filler moments. No more wishy washy stagnation. I had those there. I filled that void with some good and some not so "optimal" things. I want to start a career and I have an opportunity to finish my education, learn all I can about business and cultivate myself and my bliss.
So, I recognize this feeling of sadness and thank myself for being able to feel. It makes me realize how valuable my experience, my life, the people I love, and things that help me create joy have been of true value because I'll miss them. It is however time to live in the now.
The new sadness of the morning has gone and left the building of my being. It's not serving my intention.
Honestly, water pressure, I miss water pressure!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Fresh Tuna at 2AM
I have/had a disease to please.
I'm sure most people can resonate with that at some point or part of their lives. Humans fucking created domestication. Thankfully, as I have lived through more experiences and life, the importance of self-authenticity becomes paramount. I would not so easily deny my true self to make some other one happy especially when I know that You make yourself happy. I mean it's easy to be happy when you are in love, you've won the lotto, you have a roof over your head and someone remembers your birthday. When you don't have a place to take a shit or can't even pass a bowel movement and you can still be happy, you are a superhero. Not that it would matter much to you anyway. Your the type of person who wouldn't need this kind of blog or reminder.
When you do this simple thing called making yourself happy, your being, consciousness and presence are the source of your happiness. You are real. It makes connecting with another soul even sweeter and as real as it can get. There are no false selves or pretenses involved. Yesterday I met Pat a fisherman. He is the patriach of a family laying claim to 30+ huge fishing boats off the Philippines, somewhere perhaps in the South China Sea. With their experience in open water and luck with the catch, Japanese boats are known to lurk and to stalk their water and navigation. They've supplied fish in many parts of Asia. Tuna is the specialty, he however loves Salmon. Too bad he's not fishing in Alaska or Norway.
His Tuna is Wild, just as my love for him is. When I say Wild, it could be better stated as natural or organic. I like him simply on the merit that we are connected, authenticity was exchanged. He feed me sashimi, I could not say no. I didn't have to feel that fake kindness or niceness for the sake of networking or preserving an image, it was an "it's all good" kind of beach day where you just totally are yourself, one of my favorite experiences.
His guys came at 2AM to deliver a gargantuan Tuna. There is enough to feed four families and a crew of men in my dad's shop. I wonder if this is how Inuits feel when someone brings in a Huge Seal that can feed them for the entire winter. I was not about to sit on the floor strewn out with bits of Raw Tuna everywhere but the thought did cross my mind.
My radical raw veganism of last year finds itself morphing to flexitarianism. I'm defining it as mostly vegan with rare exceptions usually involving cultural experience or exchanges of generousity. I'm okay with it and although some of my raw friends might see this as a lapse in my process I don't give a fuck because I'm okay with it. Of course, I recognize it but I think loving and appreciating your food and its source is at least as important as what you are consuming. I mean if you after educating yourself about Nutrition, Calorie Density, Calorie Quality, etc. still find a bag of lays truly satisfying I'm not gonna stop you. I have no idea if I'm right or your right. Go with your experience.
After an authentic exchange of love without pretext, excuse me while I enjoy this fresh wild tuna from the sea and the love and generosity behind it. Thank you Tuna for feeding me, Thank you Pat for thinking of me, Thank you tastebuds for tasting and Thank you body for digesting and converting these proteins into strands of C,H,O,N,P...etcs that I can use!
Don't eat meat if you don't love it, Don't be vegan if you hate every moment you are separated from bacon...Life is too short!!!
Life is too short.
I'm sore from a strong attempt at more ashtanga today, sunburnt from yesterday's jetski ride, feeling the blisters from some high intensity ballroom dancing. It's hard for me to imagine I was bored this morning. That seems so distant now. This happens in my yoga practice too. Once I reach Savasana the painful senstations set burning through my calves, up my hamstrings, crossing my quadriceps and finding its way to my obliques, along my intercostals and up my biceps to the tips of my fingers after the 21st sun salutation b series are placed aside for the superior feeling of surrender and relaxation. I'm happy for the gate theory of pain. I like the one receptor deal.
It's all fucking worth it for that place of stillness and peace.
I think it's one of the sweetest places you create for yourself. The trippiest part about it is that you cannot be too conscious or trying to make that space. Like breathing, it just kinda happens. It's not anything you can do but rather a place created when you just are living in your totality. A human BEING.
I'm sure most people can resonate with that at some point or part of their lives. Humans fucking created domestication. Thankfully, as I have lived through more experiences and life, the importance of self-authenticity becomes paramount. I would not so easily deny my true self to make some other one happy especially when I know that You make yourself happy. I mean it's easy to be happy when you are in love, you've won the lotto, you have a roof over your head and someone remembers your birthday. When you don't have a place to take a shit or can't even pass a bowel movement and you can still be happy, you are a superhero. Not that it would matter much to you anyway. Your the type of person who wouldn't need this kind of blog or reminder.
When you do this simple thing called making yourself happy, your being, consciousness and presence are the source of your happiness. You are real. It makes connecting with another soul even sweeter and as real as it can get. There are no false selves or pretenses involved. Yesterday I met Pat a fisherman. He is the patriach of a family laying claim to 30+ huge fishing boats off the Philippines, somewhere perhaps in the South China Sea. With their experience in open water and luck with the catch, Japanese boats are known to lurk and to stalk their water and navigation. They've supplied fish in many parts of Asia. Tuna is the specialty, he however loves Salmon. Too bad he's not fishing in Alaska or Norway.
His Tuna is Wild, just as my love for him is. When I say Wild, it could be better stated as natural or organic. I like him simply on the merit that we are connected, authenticity was exchanged. He feed me sashimi, I could not say no. I didn't have to feel that fake kindness or niceness for the sake of networking or preserving an image, it was an "it's all good" kind of beach day where you just totally are yourself, one of my favorite experiences.
His guys came at 2AM to deliver a gargantuan Tuna. There is enough to feed four families and a crew of men in my dad's shop. I wonder if this is how Inuits feel when someone brings in a Huge Seal that can feed them for the entire winter. I was not about to sit on the floor strewn out with bits of Raw Tuna everywhere but the thought did cross my mind.
My radical raw veganism of last year finds itself morphing to flexitarianism. I'm defining it as mostly vegan with rare exceptions usually involving cultural experience or exchanges of generousity. I'm okay with it and although some of my raw friends might see this as a lapse in my process I don't give a fuck because I'm okay with it. Of course, I recognize it but I think loving and appreciating your food and its source is at least as important as what you are consuming. I mean if you after educating yourself about Nutrition, Calorie Density, Calorie Quality, etc. still find a bag of lays truly satisfying I'm not gonna stop you. I have no idea if I'm right or your right. Go with your experience.
After an authentic exchange of love without pretext, excuse me while I enjoy this fresh wild tuna from the sea and the love and generosity behind it. Thank you Tuna for feeding me, Thank you Pat for thinking of me, Thank you tastebuds for tasting and Thank you body for digesting and converting these proteins into strands of C,H,O,N,P...etcs that I can use!
Don't eat meat if you don't love it, Don't be vegan if you hate every moment you are separated from bacon...Life is too short!!!
Life is too short.
I'm sore from a strong attempt at more ashtanga today, sunburnt from yesterday's jetski ride, feeling the blisters from some high intensity ballroom dancing. It's hard for me to imagine I was bored this morning. That seems so distant now. This happens in my yoga practice too. Once I reach Savasana the painful senstations set burning through my calves, up my hamstrings, crossing my quadriceps and finding its way to my obliques, along my intercostals and up my biceps to the tips of my fingers after the 21st sun salutation b series are placed aside for the superior feeling of surrender and relaxation. I'm happy for the gate theory of pain. I like the one receptor deal.
It's all fucking worth it for that place of stillness and peace.
I think it's one of the sweetest places you create for yourself. The trippiest part about it is that you cannot be too conscious or trying to make that space. Like breathing, it just kinda happens. It's not anything you can do but rather a place created when you just are living in your totality. A human BEING.
Lessons from My Lola
My Lola (grandma), who is recovering from a stroke and can barely hear, speaks sparsely and longs so simply to walk, knows me well, perhaps better than anyone here.
I had lunch at her bedside today.
She asked me, "Are you bored?"
Me: "Medio" (a little)
It wasn't time to be fake or save face. There is enough of that here. Not that it's out of maliciousness or anything but so many people seem to be walking on eggshells and being too nice, probably especially with my Lola. So nice in fact that badness is kinda missed and I feel forced to be a bitch simply to take the nice edge of the environment. I think as you get older, you want to decrease the amount of bullshit in your life. I mean yes we are all facing death and the next unknown, some of us more likely to pass on sooner than others so why lie, why pretend things are okay or nice. Be with the reality and show true kindness to yourself and those who ask for truth.
I appreciate simple things like being able to drive, having enough dexterity to type here or simply breathing. I don't mean to lose appreciation for the simple things. I just meant to be authentic and even extravagant in personal authenticity. Honesty, Radical Honesty, seems to be my grandmother's and I favorite language.
She nodded. She understood. She doesn't say much and she doesn't have to. She has taught me that not saying anything can be as powerful. It's that open space, that void that doesn't have to be filled with filler, junk words but rather the sensations of just being who you are and where you are on your journey.
Upon speaking with her daily, I've come to see how the act of listening is not so dependent on actually hearing words as it is being present. She is as present as she can be and that is such a powerful lesson.
It's painful for me to admit that I allowed myself to be bored today. I can walk, I can yoga, I can read or do something active but I allowed myself to let a moment of boredom slip me into an unpleasant mood and an inactive day. Today, I had my bitch incarnate hat on. I feel the freedom of a "Dropping out" or rather into momentary escape from the rat race but simultaneously cooped up here in the "compound" the entire day, with ants on my bed, the seductive scent of ripe mangos filling my room and wasting moments of open freedom feeling bored. I'm not supposed to go out alone and there is a guard at the door. That hasn't stopped me before but I feel inactive and don't want to put forth the effort challenging the system. This is not my usual.
Note to self: continue to make list of top three things to accomplish daily.
Everything is amazing, how can I be bored or even thinking about going back to traffic on the 405 and workin' on the hustle or as I so remember attempting to do my part and "run (my little sometimes glamorous and hooked up and otherwise unglamourous and simple take on) LA." I asked my mom if I could come back today, I didn't like her answer.
I am allowing myself to be bored. My lola, on the other hand, she I am sure is not intentionally bored. She is I think longing for more stimulus and interaction with the world. Family members sit and talk with her less and less. At least she has an amazing crew of caregivers but growing old is tough if you are in a culture that devalues age and celebrates youth. And it's not even that extreme here in this part of the world. I mean how stupid is it to celebrate the unwisest and unexperienced among us and devalue the wisdom and experience accrued in our elderly. They have survived long for reasons and have experienced similar challenges, heartaches and glories. I learn so much just sitting at my grandma's bedside. I'm not about to knock the glorious of youth, but why can't we rather celebrate the entire process in a healthy, balanced way.
We exchanged stories and I briefly tried to explain TARP and Obama's economic stimulus plan but she has more pressing issues to be occupied with like if she will be able drop a deuce today. She is relying on medicine to pass a bowel movement. My uncle, dealing with depression, has pills to sleep, to stop his trembling and fidgiting, to stay awake, to control his heart rate, etc...I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that at least 50% of his bodily functions are being controlled by prescription medication. Those psychotic drugs are fucking intense. I recently heard bananas may be good more depression. Since we have heard that, the lazy susan is filled with bananas every morning.
I learned that my affinity for passing shits is genetic or at least a learned trait. My lovely grandmother is not happy when she cannot release a morning crustacean and I'm quite sure she is as fanatical as I am about keeping her ass as clean as possible.
Hygiene, we both are big fans. Here I think a plug for Dr. Bronner's Soap is necessary. If you ever want to show me some material love out here and feel like sending me yourself or a care package, I would be elated to receive Dr. Bronner's Soap in peppermint. On humid days with a minimal amount of water pressure, Dr. Bronner's is the only soap that leaves me feeling cleansed, even if its only until I step out of the bathroom and into the hot, humid air. It is worth it for the amazing tingling sensation across the surface of my body. It almost as scintillating as being turned on by a first kiss, almost because let's admit it...it's totally not the same thing.
A perpetual hotness and wetness has been my reality the past couple of days. I don't think my hair has actually been dry since I arrived. I could seek out a blow dry if I find a way to escape. But it's more a prison in my mind, I'm sure that's been in a hundred gajillion songs...all these self-imposed prisons in my mind.
"Life is short" my grandmother tells me. She doesn't have to say much else. She lets the teacher within speak the rest.
Life is short so ........_______.
You fill in your blank.
Your answer is the only one that matters.
I had lunch at her bedside today.
She asked me, "Are you bored?"
Me: "Medio" (a little)
It wasn't time to be fake or save face. There is enough of that here. Not that it's out of maliciousness or anything but so many people seem to be walking on eggshells and being too nice, probably especially with my Lola. So nice in fact that badness is kinda missed and I feel forced to be a bitch simply to take the nice edge of the environment. I think as you get older, you want to decrease the amount of bullshit in your life. I mean yes we are all facing death and the next unknown, some of us more likely to pass on sooner than others so why lie, why pretend things are okay or nice. Be with the reality and show true kindness to yourself and those who ask for truth.
I appreciate simple things like being able to drive, having enough dexterity to type here or simply breathing. I don't mean to lose appreciation for the simple things. I just meant to be authentic and even extravagant in personal authenticity. Honesty, Radical Honesty, seems to be my grandmother's and I favorite language.
She nodded. She understood. She doesn't say much and she doesn't have to. She has taught me that not saying anything can be as powerful. It's that open space, that void that doesn't have to be filled with filler, junk words but rather the sensations of just being who you are and where you are on your journey.
Upon speaking with her daily, I've come to see how the act of listening is not so dependent on actually hearing words as it is being present. She is as present as she can be and that is such a powerful lesson.
It's painful for me to admit that I allowed myself to be bored today. I can walk, I can yoga, I can read or do something active but I allowed myself to let a moment of boredom slip me into an unpleasant mood and an inactive day. Today, I had my bitch incarnate hat on. I feel the freedom of a "Dropping out" or rather into momentary escape from the rat race but simultaneously cooped up here in the "compound" the entire day, with ants on my bed, the seductive scent of ripe mangos filling my room and wasting moments of open freedom feeling bored. I'm not supposed to go out alone and there is a guard at the door. That hasn't stopped me before but I feel inactive and don't want to put forth the effort challenging the system. This is not my usual.
Note to self: continue to make list of top three things to accomplish daily.
Everything is amazing, how can I be bored or even thinking about going back to traffic on the 405 and workin' on the hustle or as I so remember attempting to do my part and "run (my little sometimes glamorous and hooked up and otherwise unglamourous and simple take on) LA." I asked my mom if I could come back today, I didn't like her answer.
I am allowing myself to be bored. My lola, on the other hand, she I am sure is not intentionally bored. She is I think longing for more stimulus and interaction with the world. Family members sit and talk with her less and less. At least she has an amazing crew of caregivers but growing old is tough if you are in a culture that devalues age and celebrates youth. And it's not even that extreme here in this part of the world. I mean how stupid is it to celebrate the unwisest and unexperienced among us and devalue the wisdom and experience accrued in our elderly. They have survived long for reasons and have experienced similar challenges, heartaches and glories. I learn so much just sitting at my grandma's bedside. I'm not about to knock the glorious of youth, but why can't we rather celebrate the entire process in a healthy, balanced way.
We exchanged stories and I briefly tried to explain TARP and Obama's economic stimulus plan but she has more pressing issues to be occupied with like if she will be able drop a deuce today. She is relying on medicine to pass a bowel movement. My uncle, dealing with depression, has pills to sleep, to stop his trembling and fidgiting, to stay awake, to control his heart rate, etc...I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that at least 50% of his bodily functions are being controlled by prescription medication. Those psychotic drugs are fucking intense. I recently heard bananas may be good more depression. Since we have heard that, the lazy susan is filled with bananas every morning.
I learned that my affinity for passing shits is genetic or at least a learned trait. My lovely grandmother is not happy when she cannot release a morning crustacean and I'm quite sure she is as fanatical as I am about keeping her ass as clean as possible.
Hygiene, we both are big fans. Here I think a plug for Dr. Bronner's Soap is necessary. If you ever want to show me some material love out here and feel like sending me yourself or a care package, I would be elated to receive Dr. Bronner's Soap in peppermint. On humid days with a minimal amount of water pressure, Dr. Bronner's is the only soap that leaves me feeling cleansed, even if its only until I step out of the bathroom and into the hot, humid air. It is worth it for the amazing tingling sensation across the surface of my body. It almost as scintillating as being turned on by a first kiss, almost because let's admit it...it's totally not the same thing.
A perpetual hotness and wetness has been my reality the past couple of days. I don't think my hair has actually been dry since I arrived. I could seek out a blow dry if I find a way to escape. But it's more a prison in my mind, I'm sure that's been in a hundred gajillion songs...all these self-imposed prisons in my mind.
"Life is short" my grandmother tells me. She doesn't have to say much else. She lets the teacher within speak the rest.
Life is short so ........_______.
You fill in your blank.
Your answer is the only one that matters.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)