some updates

Okay my postings have not gone as planned. brown outs and some hindered wi-fi, but that's the past and the present is I'm here, wi-fi ready.

Lots, well relatively, many things have happened. I miss home as much but I'm becoming better adjusted here so if there is a gate theory to longing, there is not much space for missing anymore. This is good. I've also been noticing the healing aspect of time and wisdom. Wisdom as I have learned though is not something to be taught but cultivated through individual experience and effort.

Boxes arrived from America after six weeks on the ocean. My Siddhartha book found me, I'll finish it tonight. I just spent some moments in a bahay kubo but retreated after being feasted on by mosquitoes. There is a rather noisy lizard with me now.

It's about dusk and slowly the sky is dimming. I woke up around one this morning, read and listened to music until sunrise. Music carried me through the morning. Even a little heartbreak music but my heart on track. It's a kind of comical sobering noticing yourself unneccessarily wallowing in a self-constructed puddle of fuck the world shit. This life is not forever and squandering time, hideously idiotic.

I've been pondering attitudes, choices and mantras. So maybe there's a heartbreak. There's the option of holding a pity party in the lonely morning hours, wanting the world to stop and cry with you, there is the denial option or trying to forget by drinking, celebrating, fucking or just simply go on with living. Attitude makes all the difference. Following the attitude or paradigm shift, one could just choose to be grateful for the experience and move on from whatever pain or sorrow to what's next. Thus no failure or fall would be squandered, time well spent living.

It's not about pursuing or acquiring things to make you happy, it's more about changing your attitudes so that no matter what, there is an inner happiness that can't be taken away.

Happiness, inclusive of satisfaction, fulfillment, self-awareness, is rich and so worthwhile. Some really wise people say there is a lot of happiness in devoting yourself to other, maybe in order to contribute the the universal collective of humans or simply just the high of doing something good for others.

Maybe, to whoever reads this, the next time someone comes to you for help see what you can do...and maybe it could be something other than some paper currency but genuine time or care or just a hug and some love.

I've been eating a lot more fiber, my belly feels full and my deuces numerous. A fast should be in order soon.

I will make an effort on the Seneca too, pending a ballroom dance or not.

love.